Friday, April 22, 2016

10 things I learned from moving...

"Life's best lessons seem to be learned at the worst times." 
                                                                     -picturequotes.com

If you've had the experience of moving, you know it can be, and more often than not it is a very stressful time.  Moving tries every aspect of your character, and it can be equally, or more taxing on a marriage as well.  I wish I could say that I exhibited patience, and angelic qualities, but I did not.  I was stressed, felt under pressure, was overwhelmed, and at times, down right ugly.  I have chosen to be candid with my experience.  I hope others can learn from my mistakes...

I was like this bird...my face was not a happy face...

Lessons learned:
1.  Moving is a big job...bigger than you think.

 I consider myself to be fairly organized, and my home as well.  I always told my kids that everything has a place...and to put things where they are supposed to go.  In its place.  All of our stuff was in its place...all over the place.... on bookshelves, stuffed in closets, drawers, on walls, and in the yard.  Over the course of our 34 years of marriage, we have accumulated lots of stuff... I hadn't realized how much stuff until we had to sort through all of it to decide what was valuable enough to take with us.

Moving is no fun...

2.  It is overwhelming, but don't let it overwhelm you.


This is too hard...
Warren and I had a specific time period to get our things sorted, boxed, and loaded.  I was overwhelmed with the magnitude of what we had to accomplish is such a short period of time.  I got more depressed when I thought about what had to be done.
Oh Gee...where did all this stuff come from...

3. Wishing it would all go away, isn't going to make it go away...



4.  Friends and family make everything better...
My friend, Deborah, came from Carlsbad to help me with my worse rooms: my craft and sewing rooms.  She kept reminding me to stay focused, and we would get it done... Besides two are better than one...

Two is better...really it is...


...and we could visit, and have a good time while going through all my stuff...

And we did have fun...and we stayed focused...and we got our goal accomplished.

Two of my boys came to help us load the truck.  Zach must be good at puzzles, because he looked at our boxes and would announce,"that one needs to go here!"  Muscle for loading was provided by Ian, and Warren.  I just had to bring boxes to the garage.  In no time at all, the truck was loaded, efficiently packed, and tied down.  It was time to celebrate...and play.


5.  Expect the unexpected.
I thought the worst was behind us, but it was not...I was blindsided.  When we had traveled the first 500 miles, we stopped for the night.  I asked Warren where my backpack was, and he told me in the SUV.  I looked...I couldn't find it.  He looked, and couldn't find it.  We had left it in our master closet.  It had my iPad and other treasures of mine.   I was mad at Warren for not packing it.
(Note: That morning I had a dentist appointment to pick up a night guard.  I had walked to the dentist's office so he could pack the remaining things in the SUV.  My backpack was not there, hence I blamed him.   There was a lot of tension between us that night. This leads me to my next point...
(Note: I called the auction people who found my backpack and mailed it to me)

6.  Moving is hard on your marriage.
It is an understatement to say men and women are different.  Not only are they physically different; we think differently, and we react differently emotionally.  What Warren thought was important, I did not, and vice versa.  Hence, there were disagreements about what to pack, and take.  Our communication was heated, and not always kind.   I felt like our life was a disaster... resembling a pile of rubble, because one negative thing led to another, until we had a mess.   Leaving my backpack was one more thing to add to our growing pile of rubble.  Can I say that I was pretty ugly to Warren.




7.  Just breathe... God can clean up all the rubble...
Warren and I traveled in separate vehicles.  It allowed me some alone time with God where I discussed everything with Him.  God helped me to see  that our stuff was just that, stuff.  Was I making my stuff an idol?  I was letting it rob me of my joy that I shared with my husband.  I knew at the next stop, I had to repent, and ask his forgiveness for being so ugly to him.  The song, "Just Breathe," by Johnny Diaz became my theme song.



I wish I could say that this is the end of my lessons, but it is not.  I had my hardest and most important lessons to learn yet.

8.  Listen when prompted. 
I missed the promptings of the Holy Spirit.  Twice. When I was getting ready to go to the dentist, the last thing I did before walking out the door was to put on my wedding band, and a turquoise ring Warren had given me before we got married.  I could not get them on probably because I had eaten Mexican food the night before, including chips.  I could only surmise that salt was the cause of my swollen fingers.  I put them in a box that was on our bathroom counter thinking "that I would find them when I unpacked when we got to NC."  In my spirit, I remember thinking I shouldn't do that, and I should put them in my purse.  I reasoned that I would find them...all I had to do was unpack.  This was my first prompting that I ignored.

When I got home from the dentist, the things Warren was supposed to have packed in the SUV were still where they were...he had not packed.  I was miffed.  I was put out.  I was mad.  I walked to the dentist, so he could pack the SUV.  It was not packed.  I was to realize later that he had been taking care of some things that needed to be done around the pool, but I did not find that out until 2 days later.  Together, we loaded the SUV, with a lot of tension between us.  I asked Warren if he'd done a walk though the house to make sure we got everything.  He did not answer.  We didn't do a walk through.  I was prompted that we should do a walk through.  Neither of us was dealing with each other very well.  No walk through was done.   We just left.  This was the second prompting that I ignored.  I should have listened to my promptings.

9.  Own your mistakes...
We unpacked all our boxes.  I did not find my rings.  Did we leave the box I put them in?  We don't know, but it seems highly possible.  If so, they were probably sold in the estate sale.  I'd like to say things were smooth sailing once we got everything unpacked, and organized, but it was not.  It seemed like the smallest thing could and would set us off.  Things were still pretty tense .  I pray when I walk by myself.  It was interesting that my hiking friends happened to be busy during this time I was having with Warren.  Hard times, that's when God gets through hard heads like mine.  I had to walk by myself, and it was during this time that God "spanked" me.  He reminded me of His promptings, which I ignored.  He reminded me that my backpack, and my rings were mine, and ultimately my responsibility, not Warren's.  Again, I had to go to Warren to confess, and repent.  He was so sweet, and we were able to talk things out, and now things are good, and right.  And while I am sad that the consequences of my not listening to God cost me losing something that was sentimental to me, it is not the end of the world.  And Warren has plans to remedy the loss, even though it was my fault.  I will have to wait and see exactly what that will be...
sweet, and fragrant...
10. Treasure your husband... 
On Wednesday mornings Warren attends a men's Bible study.   This week, he texted me to let me know, he had not fed the cat.  Would I please feed Maggie?  (Note: he's the first one up, so he feeds the cat.)

"Where's my food?"
I thought, what a wonderful husband I have.  He's concerned about a cat, and took the time to make sure she was taken care of.  If he does that for a cat, how much more is his concern and care for me?...like a 1000 fold.  And the same goes for the care and concern for the rest of his family: his boys, and grandkids.  He is like gold: precious to me.


He deserves a castle...


   

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Father and Sons...

"Forget Batman: When I really thought about what I wanted to be when I grew up, I wanted to be my Dad." Paul Asay, God on the Streets of Gotham: What the Big Screen can Teach us about God & Ourselves.

Father and Sons:  Luke spends a lot of time with the boys teaching them about science, God, baseball, values, and life.  Most of all he lets them have fun, and introduces them to things he enjoys...like biking.  Biking is big for Warren, Luke, and now Luke's sons.  Like father; Like son.

Warren
Luke
We bought the twins balance bikes a couple of Christmases ago.  Balance bikes have no pedals.  The kids use their legs in a running motion to get up momentum, and balance.  They can lift their feet, and go great distances, so I think they have learned to balance very well on the two wheels.  I think balance bikes are so much better than bikes with training wheels.  Luke takes them to a park to go dirt biking...
boys
We take them on driveways, and parks with paved walking trails.  Not matter where they go, they are have fun, and enjoy going fast.



One day the whole clan will be able to go biking together.  I will take pictures, and man the sag wagon.

Sunday, April 10, 2016

I'm Back...

"Even when the air seems perfectly still, great changes are taking place." -Marty Rubin

Warren and I drove to Roswell to get some of our treasures out of our house because we have decided to make NC our permanent home.    We left Maggie with Luke...she was not happy with us leaving.
Maggie, not so thrilled...
The trip took 3 long...very long... days that we divided into 500 mile increments.  Warren drove while I took in the sights.  There were many photo ops along the way, but were we stopping for such things?...NO.  We had one goal: to make our destination each night. No time to stop for photos.
I got one picture...as we were about to enter Arkansas, and go over the Mississippi River.  


The sorting through all our years of "stuff" was pretty overwhelming...how did we get so much stuff?  Thank goodness my friend, Deborah, came from Carlsbad to help me with my worse nightmares: my sewing room, and my office upstairs.  While it was an unpleasant task, it was made enjoyable because we got to visit.  Warren, Deb, and I did get everything sorted, and put in a 10 ft. U-Haul truck.  We took no furniture. 

This is what we had to load on the U-Haul
We had Wild West Auctions come in after we left to gather the remaining items for an estate sale.  Can I say that was a wise decision?  It was a wise decision.  The auction was last Thursday, and Friday...and I am happy to report almost everything was sold.  

Wild West Auction had things set up in our garage, driveway, house, and backyard...


This is one of the rooms after the auction...all sold...every room was like this.  

pretty amazing...and wonderful.
The trip back to NC was rather scary.   Warren drove the U-Haul, and followed me.  I did not want to be the leader, but my car had the GPS, so I had to lead.  The first day was horribly windy...I was glad when we pulled into our first destination: Oklahoma City.  The second day we had thunderstorms, and hail.  Lightning was striking all around us, and I was so afraid we'd get struck.  As I drove, I wondered if my tires would ground me and keep me safe in the event I was struck.  We had to drive about 20 MPH because the rain and hail was coming down so hard and fast that we couldn't see.  It made for a long day.


Our destination for day 2 was Memphis, Tn, which was a nightmare to navigate.  There was major road construction, and we had to cross 4 lanes of traffic a lot to keep on I-40. When we finally got to our hotel, I shaking like a leaf.  I never want to drive through Memphis again.

The third day of our journey, we expected bad weather, but we really did not see any...just a lot of wrecks...3 to be exact... which caused huge traffic jams.  With one wreck, it took us 1 hour to go 1.8 miles.  We finally came to an exit which we took.  We had lunch there while we waited for the interstate to get moving again.  Unfortunately, the other two wrecks we could not get off the interstate and had to sit in traffic.  It took us 12 hours what would normally take 8 hours to drive.  I was not too upset by the delays though.  I was very tired on the last day, and all the activity kept me alert, and wide awake.  

Semi on the guard rail...
 I thought the fall was amazing here in NC with all its colors, but I have to say that spring time is pretty gorgeous as well.  The color in the trees that were blooming was spectacular: the white Dogwoods, and the yellow, purple, and pink blossoms from trees I don't have a clue to what they are, made the drive so enjoyable.


We have spent the bulk of the week unpacking all our stuff...trying to find a place for it in our new home.  

I am happy to report that almost all our stuff is put away.  We have to determine what art work, and photos we want to hang on our walls, and we will be officially moved in.  

Last fall, I planted 50 tulip bulbs.  They bloomed while we were in Roswell.  I was happy to see that there were still some in the process of fully blooming when we arrived late on our last night.  I had to get a photo of just one.


Stay tuned for more on our trip, and the lessons learned.  Hint: I had to repent a lot! 
 
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